The news here is fascinating to me. Watching Chicago news for my whole life I am used to certain things, and here in the Valley of the Sun, they have different expectations. The latest news is centered around the weather person promising we will get down to the 80s soon. It is with apology she announces another day with a high in the 90s. She seems to not know how some parts of the country are struggling in the 40s and 50s and would welcome the 90s. Today is supposed to be the last day in the 90s, and yet, it is another beautiful day, which I would feel guilty complaining about.

I feel alone often, but not really lonely. I feel a definite difference in the two. I have friends I can talk to, my kids and all the people here at the resort who are more than willing to spend time chatting, mostly when I am in a hurry to get things done. But I feel alone a lot. I go to the gym where I purposely shut the other people out, and try to concentrate on getting fit. I am getting stronger, but not really losing any weight for the past month. I am sure it has to do with my extra evening munching while doing my school projects.

I took the scooter last weekend and went to the closest casino (where I left with a little more than I came with) but gambling is a solo event, where I even go alone when I am with people. I had joined a couple of meet up groups but they didn’t really workout for me, as they had back in Chicago where I met some great gals.

Today is my birthday. This is not the first birthday I have spent away from Chicago, but this one seems different. I am not sure what I want to do, but maybe the fact that my day has been exactly like every other day, can be interpreted to be I am living a pretty great life, or I am uninspired to find something better to do.  Thinking about how I want to spend the day, all I could come up with was the food I wanted to indulge in.

When I was a kid, my grandpa had a birthday and when I wished him happy birthday he answered, “It’s just another day, no reason to make a fuss.” and as a kid, I could’t understand how he could think that. I really liked presents and getting to pick my dinner back then. Now, I just want my kids to call me, and send me a card which makes me feel appreciated. I have received a couple of gifts already, which are very nice and thoughtful, however, the son who called me first thing this morning to ask for my help with an email, and did not wish me a happy birthday, kind of made me laugh. He just wasn’t thinking, and I am OK with that, because he calls me all the time, and always answers my texts and stupid emails I send him, so he gets a pass on this one.

My plans have changed throughout the week, and evolved into taking a scooter ride, having ice cream, and pizza and wings. I am not sure what else I will decide to do, but I am kind of sorry I got all of my work done, so I could do whatever I wanted today, since I don’t know what I want to do. Having nobody to do things with, makes it harder to have fun. I was laying in bed, thinking about my birthday this morning, and I was thinking about my favorite birthday; It was the year I turned 19, because I had wanted to see the play “The Odd Couple” and Chuck gave me tickets for my birthday. I had never been to a live play, and I loved it. We went out to eat afterwards and stayed out til 4am. Later that same date, he asked me, unofficially, to marry him. It was a great birthday.

It is this yearly celebration where most people think about their next 30 years, and vow to make their lives better. I know I need to eat better, be kinder and try to give back, more. I will work on being more positive and forgiving myself for my past, and moving forward, embracing whatever the future holds. I know I will be in a different place the next birthday I celebrate, if I am so lucky to do so, so I should enjoy my next trip around the sun, and be grateful for all the blessings I have.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” 

–Steve Jobs (who passed one year ago, today)

Yes this is true. As I stayed up very late last night to finish the Powerpoint presentation for my class, I was thinking about the time I have spent working, and going to school. I enjoy what I am doing right now, at the resort. It does not pay as much as a “real job” would, but I like it, so far. It is fun to be the “newscaster” for the resort, and to take pictures and post them.

How much should money play a part in what you do? If you can do something you enjoy, isn’t that worth the difference in pay. I have always believed it was. I can spend less on frivolous things, and have a lot less stress. Maybe in the long run, will I save the money in healthcare, or in care for some disease which sets in due to the stress I was experiencing.

I think getting paid a lot of money is a great advantage, but if given the choice, I’d prefer less money, and enjoying my days and nights. I see people all of the time on Facebook, just counting down the days until Friday. Is that really living your life? If you plod through five days to get to the two, you are not really enjoying your life.

I remember when I was working at US99, I was so thrilled to be working there, I looked forward to going to work. Of all the jobs I have had, I think that one was the one which paid the least, and I loved every minute of it. I learned so much, and I got to do something I wanted to do, so it was more fun than work.

Although even in the best jobs, there are things you may not want to do, or times you may not feel like doing it, but overall if you enjoy your work, what a wonderful life you will have. And how much better of a job will you do? I know I get more into a job I enjoy than one I am in it only for the pay.

Sam and I judging a Lego competition

On TV the other night, on The MIddle, the mom wanted to start her second career, and looked at all the various avenues, and wondered what she REALLY wanted to do. I think that myself, as I work towards another degree in hopes I can teach audio editing, and communications classes at a University, maybe even some online classes. But as I work towards this education degree I start remembering how much I wanted to teach when I was in grade school. The public teachers went on strike, and I was asked to come in and fill in for one of the lower grades. I was in 8th grade and one of the best students in the school.

The kids were acting like you’d expect kids to act when they knew they had a substitute teacher who was only a few years older than they were. The one kid was throwing spitballs at the blackboard so I told him he had to go to the office. He took his stuff and left the room. At lunchtime, I was called into the Principals office and a lady who was a secretary (which was why she was there and not on strike) told me the boy went home and told his mother I yelled at him and sent him home. I was so upset, because that is not what happened. I may have yelled when I sent him to the office, after he was being a jerk, but still, I did not send him home. While she was admonishing me, she said “And whatever you do, don’t ever become a teacher!”

Later she would come and apologize to me, because other students told her what had really happened. But in that time, her words stuck with me, and I always kept away from thinking I should teach. So, I taught Bible School, CCD and sports, I even taught a kids class of bowling at the Community College one semester. This was something I had always wanted to do, and her words hurt me so badly, I never went in that direction again. In fact, whenever I have thought about teaching, I think I need to teach adults, because the problem I had was with kids. But as I do these various teaching projects, I am really drawn to teaching younger kids.

We take our work seriously.

When I had to answer the questions about Sam, the young lady asked if I had wanted Sam to do something particular, and I thought about how I always wanted my kids to do something they love. I remember Sam coming to me and saying he wanted to attend the one college, and I had a hunch it was because of the bowling team and his friend was talking about it, so I asked him what he was going to major in and he said Culinary. I literally laughed out loud. He had a thing about making smoothies, but before that he had no desire to cook anything. I had taught him to make french toast, but he never made anything else, so I thought he was joking. I feel terribly guilty to this day, because now he calls me and sends me pictures of his food, and he really enjoys cooking, so maybe he could have been a great chef if I had not laughed at him. I think he enjoys what he is doing, but I still feel badly. Maybe cooking can be just a hobby for Sam, or one day he may want to be a chef, it’s nice to have that option and be able to think that you should do what makes you happy.

 

 

Sam and I working on videos together.

 

 

So, as I keep learning more about teaching, I keep changing what it is I may want to do. I dont think it is ever too late to change what you want to do, and to do something you truly enjoy. You only get one chance in this world, so you have to make it count.

More and more RVs come into the resort each day. It is almost “the season” here in Arizona. I have been fortunate to have spent one of the hottest (according to the weatherwoman last night, there have been the most 100+ degree days this summer since they began keeping track!) summers here, and now I am hoping to get the reward of a cooler, allbeit warmer than the Midwest, winter!

I have been busy with making videos for the author, and keeping the Facebook page for the resort up to the minute, attending meetings and doing my schoolwork . I have projects due this week, but I wanted to post a few thoughts I have.

Right now, my life revolves around modern technology. My job here is based on doing social media, editing and uploading videos for websites, and I am taking my Masters degree classes via the internet. When I stop and think about it, it seems mind boggling to me. I am being paid to do a job that didn’t exist 10 years ago, taking classes in a way that could not have occurred 10 years ago.

I was sent a few questions from one of Sam’s classmates. It seems they are doing a project where they interview people and do a real indepth project about the person. Sam told me she’d be sending me some questions, but I was surprised at them. She asked if I could describe Sam in 3 words, which would be next to impossible, but I tried. Then she asked me about my favorite memory. That is another one which I cannot say, yes, THIS is my favorite memory of Sam. There are so many. it made me think back to a lot of great memories when the kids were little. This is always a fun thing to do, since it was the best time in my life. I enjoyed thinking about all of the anecdotes which revolved around Sam, and shared a few with her.

Then came a question which made me think a lot about my life. What can you see Sam doing in 5 years? I am certain I got this right about him, but if someone had told me 5 years ago where I’d be, I would have certainly laughed at them. Even 5 years ago, my position as a social media director, and taking online classes would be a far fetched idea. Even if there was such a thing, it was not something I thought I would be doing.

If you had told me I would be in Arizona, I would have probably debated that and certainly if you had told me there would not be anyone from our family living in Illinois, I would have doubted that as well. Life takes funny turns and the future is not for us to know. Sometimes I think the people like myself, who worry and fret over things are the least productive. The people who roll with the flow seem to be the happiest, and most content. Striving for things and to make everything perfect, just makes yourself crazy. Nothing is ever perfect, and maybe those imperfections are what gives us character?

I got a picture last night on my phone. It was of Sarah, doing her editing. It is always nice to get a picture from any of the kids, which means they are thinking of me, and want to share. This is something I never could have thought would be so much a part of my life. I send pictures to my kids of food I made, the dogs, what I am doing and they send me the same. It is another way technology keeps us connected in five different states. Yes, that’s right, currently we are in Indiana, Iowa, Montana, Missouri and Arizona. I never would have thought that either.

I watched the Presidential debates last night, and I have never enjoyed them more. I usually watched, while doing something else, and this time it was not much different, but I enjoyed this debate far more than any other. I had my twitter account open, and the people I follow are insanely clever. In real time, they commented on the debate, and I laughed out loud as if I was watching a sitcom, without the laughtrack. This is something I had never thought of, five years ago, but I have to say my Twitter people certainly entertained me during an otherwise awful debate.

I sent the answers to the young lady and thought more about what I had written. Who’s to say what Sam will be doing in 5 years, or any of us for that matter. I can’t see the future, and I am glad for that. But I do know that for right now I am glad that we have this marvelous technology which keeps us connected and helps me try to move forward.

Since I bought the RV two years ago, (yes it was exactly 2 years ago this week!) I have probably used the awning twenty short times. I enjoy the shade it provides, and certainly love how much cooler the RV is when it is open while the sun is beating down in the desert here in Arizona. I usually put it up, only to take it down an hour or two later. This is to avoid, what I have been told repeatedly, is the biggest accident issue with RVs; a broken awning.

I have been a first person witness to two such mishaps while traveling the country. One was rain induced, the other wind. In addition, I have heard countless stories about broken awnings. When I arrived back here, in Arizona, a neighbor had just had his awning blown to bits while he went to the store. The winds can whip up here pretty good, and quickly. I have seen people use weights and other tie downs to secure their awnings, but I was not sure how, so I continued to pull mine out (manually, as David pointed out when I was in Kansas City, “Mom I thought you had everything on the RV, but not an electric awning?) and then put it back in, before I would leave it, and yes, I would worry the whole time it was up, because if a wind whipped up, what could I do anyway?

As I walked the dogs around the RV Resort, which is filling up, more each day, I saw numerous awnings out, shading the RVs from the warm sunshine. I looked at all of them and noticed they all had a ground stake, of some sort, and something around the awning to tie it down. I felt like a detective trying to solve a mystery as I looked at various awnings, and then tried to determine if I had the right equipment to do this myself. I became more certain that this would solve my sun/shade issue, if I could only figure out how to do it.

When I got back to the RV, I decided to clean up the remaining mess the monsoon had left, by washing my slab of concrete down. The monsoon left it full of sand, and I thought the next rain would take care of it, but instead it just baked in the sun and became a mess. I had been using an old rug, someone had given me on the porch,(glad I was since the monsoon ruined parts of it) and I decided it was time to get my good rug out and spruce up the place before all the new people arrive. I washed down the cement, and then I fixed my water hose which had been leaking at the RV connection. I had tried to tighten it, but it continued to trickle water out. I discovered that the second hose was not needed here, the one actually made it from the RV to the water faucet on the ground behind the RV. I was happy and relieved to see that when I connected it, there was no leak at all. Better to be a leaky hose connection than RV connection!

Once I cleaned off the slab, I pulled out the awning and tried to set up the arms of the awning on the ground, as I was shown, once, 2 years ago. I did this, but honestly, the awning sagged, and it did not look right. I envisioned a rain with pooling water up there, and decided I could live with the extending ams from the RV, which I will occasionally bump into, and have better piece of mind if rain should start while I am not there. Then I dug out the alligator clamp things Chuck had bought me for the scooter, before we found the cool Harley ones which work like a seat belt buckle. Chuck had tried to explain to me numerous times how easy the alligator tighteners work, but for some reason, I just couldn’t get it. We tried over and over, and he kept saying, “Oh it’s easy, Laveda, you’ll get it.”, but as soon as we bought the Harley ones, I was so relieved to not need to use the others. He insisted I put them in my RV, because “you never know when you’ll need to secure something.” So I have driven all over with them in my bin, just in case, but the fact I had a very loose idea of how they worked meant I would really need them, before I would sit down and figure them out.

Today was that day. I pulled them out, and mustering all of my brain cells together and willing them to remember how Chuck said these things worked, I looked at the awning and then at the loop and clasp. This seemed to go there, so I secured that part over the awning itself, and after seeing where the other part dangled down, I used my big fat sledge hammer (Chuck also made me pack) to hammer the (tent) stakes into the very hard ground. These were the tent stakes from the tent, which have a loop on the top. I went to secure the other clasp to the loop, and it was too short.

Now the beauty of these things is, they adjust. I looked at it, and if I could figure out how to adjust them, I think they’d make it. I pulled it down, and spent the next 30 minutes trying to figure out how this alligator thing worked. I know how to make it tighten, but making it looser was what I needed to do, and Thank God they were put away already rolled, because I never would have figured them out otherwise! Finally, my memory kicked in, and playing with it enough, I got it to give back some of the material, to make it longer and this time when I attached it, the clasp reached. Then with a couple alligator cranks, it was pulled tight, and I have to say, I was quite proud  of my work. I repeated the same procedure on the other side and felt like for the first time, I would not worry about the awning.

I moved the old rug to the back, by the wall for the dogs to use, but I needed something to secure them both down, so I went to the store. I bought the plastic stakes and some solar lights. I had to put the solar lights together, (that’s what I get for buying the cheaper ones in the box!) but I really liked how they looked and they put out a decent amount of light. I secured both rugs and put out my big blue chair, which is so comfy, I have fallen asleep in it before.  I discovered by accident, my outdoor radio actually plays my satellite radio feed from inside directly. I discovered this about 2 weeks ago, which is nice when I am outside. This would have been good to know the past two years! Once I was finished with that, I went and got the wooden sign I bought back in March which tells passersby that this is “The Peterlins”, and that we are from Chicago. I put in the hangers and secured it to the front of the RV. Around here, almost everyone has such a sign. I enjoy reading the names and where they are from as we walk through the Resort, which is why I wanted to participate.

Once I finished, I sat in my blue chair, under the awning, listening to the satellite radio and admired my work for the day. Yes, right now I love the awning.

My Finished Work

In California, the CMA award show was shown two hours after
it actually took place. Since I was on Facebook and Twitter, I knew who won
hours before I actually saw the presentation, but that was not why I watched
the show.

I do not agree with country music awards shows, in who is
nominated, or presented the awards. It is good for those who get the awards,
but so many are snubbed for various reasons, many of which the public will
never really know. I followed a band who was snubbed, but yet they made great
music, better than many of the songs I hear on my radio. One of their songs
tells about how they were invited to Nashville, but then later none of the
promises made, were kept. We, as the general country music fans, will never
know what goes on in the back rooms, or why talent like Toby Keith keeps
getting left out and others keep winning prestigious awards, without being able
to sing on key. There are politics involved, and unless you are one of the
insiders, you will likely never know how a band is chosen to be the next big
thing and hyped and marketed and given the chance, and another is overlooked. I
find this part of the music industry frustrating.  If you are not sure of what I am talking
about, go to youtube and look up “Murder on Music Row”.

Now onto what I really wanted to write about: the
performances. I loved seeing Lionel Richie singing with country stars. No doubt
the “new country” sound is much like Lionel sounded in the 80s. The country
singers in the audience were singing along with Lionel’s hits, because, I am sure they enjoyed him back then, just as I did. His songs were among some of my favorites from that time, and I will be sure to get the CD when it arrives in stores. I am sure my ipod will get more than a couple downloads on that day. How could I resist working out to “Dancing on the ceiling”?

However, as I watched the show, I remembered watching the
same show, or some version of it, back when I liked Lionel Richie. There was
always this segment where they honored some “legend”, and played some of their
songs. I remember not knowing the person, and only faintly recalling their
songs. It was because I was young, and they were the stars before I was born.

This was the first album I ever owned.

Tonight, this hit me particularly hard. The very first album
I owned, was a gift I had asked for: Rhinestone Cowboy. I played that record on
both sides over and over. This was back when there was one good song on each
side and the rest were inferior songs used to fill an album. I didn’t care, I
loved that album, and I loved Glen Campbell. His music was something I remember
seeing being played on TV specials, including his own shows, and I sang along
whenever I heard it on the radio. He was the first artist I truly enjoyed
seeing and hearing. He would come out onto the stage on his horse all dressed
in a studded outfit, making his appearance as the Rhinestone Cowboy. It was
glit and glamor and what entertainment is all about, and I was mesmerized by
it.

As I watched the newer (I was going to say young guns, but
Vince Gill does not fit that description) country stars sing the songs I grew
up loving, I watched as a Alzheimer-stricken Glen Campbell sang along to the
songs he must know by heart. I wondered how long he would have before he could
no longer remember the words to the songs he made famous. I wondered if he now
forgets some of the verses, and I wondered if he knew how many people were watching
him and remembering the young Glen Campbell who they watched on TV many years
ago.

I realized at that moment that this was the segment I had always seen and somewhat disregarded. Now I had reached an age when I knew, and knew well, the singer who was being honored. It was not just an artist I had heard of, or had known by name, this was a beloved singer to me. This was making me sad; I watched the video of the younger, healthy singer in the prime of his life, on video behind the singers and saw the tears in the eyes of many of the older audience members. The difference in what the thirty or more years had done to the health of the singer was obvious. Brad Paisley made Campbell’s alzheimers known, in his introduction before the salute. They did not let Glen talk, so it was not clear to the viewer whether his faculties are still in tact. I can only hope he was aware of the standing ovation, and the magnitude of the honor bestowed upon him for his musical gift to country music over the years. It is the least we could do.

Time passes so quickly. I will go out and buy Lionel Richie’s
CD because his music was a bright spot for me, from a time long ago. Glen
Campbell was my escape at that time, and I lost myself in his music. He sang of
love and loss, years before I knew of either, but I knew I liked what I had
heard. It was a part of my life, and as songs do, it takes me back to that time
as I think about it. To me It doesn’t seem possible that those songs were
playing on the radio about 35 years ago, even harder to think that I sang along
to them. Time marches on….

 

Many years ago, there was a game show called Password, where contestants were given clues by their partner and they had to guess the unknown word. This game is played out a little differently these days and I seem to be an unwilling participant.

 As I have gotten older I have lost some memory capacity, mainly short term memory. This is rather apparent when I decide to post a video of the RV on Youtube and the biggest challenge is remembering what password I used exactly 2 months ago to set up a gmail account on my new phone, which would now be needed.

I have about 3 versions of my password: the simple one, the common one and the one I use when I need more characters than the simple one has…so I believe I had all my passwords synched up, kind of. There is the paypal one which is not like any of the others and then the 3 work passwords, one which changes every month or so…so I think I have them all down…but then they make you match them with the right email address. So, not only do I have to guess the right password, but the right email address or username to go with the password. That is the best, when they say username, but really want your email address; it is exhausting.

I have considered writing them all down, but then do you remember what happened when you put all the phone numbers of your friends in your phone? I could dial my four kids and a few friends’ numbers who have remained the same for longer than I have had a cell phone, and that would be it. I used to be the best at remembering a phone number. Growing up my best friend’s phone number was 646-1930 (we didn’t need to dial the area code, she lived next door), I know this by heart, but could not tell you her area code now! This is sad.

I have lamented this short term loss of memory often; the fact that I am driving down the road listening to the oldies country station on Satellite radio (which I love), and a song comes on which I have not heard in a decade or two, and I remember every stinkin’ word to it, even the tricky different ending, then I stop to get gas and cannot find my wallet! This does not seem fair.

I currently have more email addresses than I can count on one hand and I am not sure how this happened. I just wanted to post the video on Youtube and they asked for my gmail username and password, and when I exhausted all of my possible choices, I spent a half hour doing the “I forgot my password” 3-ring circus, rather than make another account. Then my phone blinked.  I had changed the gmail account password and I must update it in order to continue to use my phone….UGH, what had I JUST changed it to?

I wish Betty White was here to give me a clue.