Before about 2002 I was not a flyer. In fact , I was not a flyer at all, for many, many years. When the only practical way to get my kids to Disney was a flight, I took pills prescribed by my Dr. To get on board. Today I can fly with little anxiety, which is why I am writing this on a plane somewhere over Missouri I assume.
I had a busy day today, taking Sarah to day two of the bar, taking Wrigley to the animal hospital where he stays when I go away, bringing Sarah lunch, packing, and then to the airport.
The text from the airline saying my flight would be delayed ignited the idea we would go to Margaritaville. I have been to about six of Jimmy Buffet’s famous restaurants, and have been excited to visit the one in my hometown which was opened while I was gone. I kept trying to find a good time to visit, but there never was one. Today was it!
We headed to Navy Pier, dodging lallapalooza closings along the way.
We paid an absurd amount to park, but it was worth it to see the crooners’ namesake in my own city. Unfortunately, another text while eating told me the flight was once again on time, and according to that schedule, I should have checked in at the airport ten minutes ago! Check please!
Since we were now in a hurry I missed getting a chance to browse the store and get a Chicago Margaritaville item.
As I was hurrying to get to the airport, Sarah and I talked. Since I had been driving her around for 3 days, I had told her many stories about various places we passed. She was tired, exhausted from the grueling test, so she let me talk but finally decided I would make a great tour guide. Yes, that is my true gift! She pointed out the guy on the double decker with the microphone and said “that should be you”. We laughed about how I could tell all my stories to people who would appreciate them, instead of my kids who I keep repeating them to.
She has a point, so I told her I’d look into it for my weekends!
We made it to the airport in time for me to check in and sit there waiting for a while.
I am heading to Wichita, where I will help Jonathan move his stuff to Houston. He starts his new job on Monday! It is always fun and exciting to start a new job, but especially when he will be doing something he has dreamed of. It’s not quite the four letter king of sports, but it is a national syndicated station, and quite a position for him to be in.
I think when the kids were little I was too afraid to fly for fear of something going wrong. I think I wanted too badly to know how they would grow up, and now I know. They are all self sufficient, with lives of their own. They don’t need me too much anymore, but when they do, I kind of like it. I want to hang around and help as much as I can, but I am certain they would be fine without me. So I board the plane and hardly wince at the turbulence.

Today is the day. All around the country those who have graduated law school are filing into buildings with their belongings in plastic bags, laptops and cords in arm. They have spent the last 3 years and especially the past two months studying for the one test which gives them legal permission to be called a lawyer.
They all have different stories, but together they have come together for 12 hours of grueling testing to determine if they should be given a pass. They don’t need to pass with a score, they need to be in the top 60% of those taking the bar.
There will be young men and women all around the country taking the test on the same two days. The test is only offered twice a year, and there is no shame in not passing the first time. JFK and Michelle Obama are two examples of people who did not pass on their first try.
Sarah has studied hard, and I am proud of her dedication. She, unlike many of those she tests with today, has a job already lined up with the city of Chicago, so she really would like this to be her last attempt.
We did a test run yesterday, driving down discussing lunch and how we would meet up since there are no cell phones allowed in the testing center. Imagine a whole room full of 20somethings with no cell phones!
Today will be all of the essays, chosen from over 26 different subjects. Tomorrow will be the questions with multiple choice answers, but certainly not easy ones.
I think it would be more practical to put these future lawyers in a room with all of the materials they need and have them defend someone. Like in the movie My Cousin Vinny, he was able to prove the case, which is what makes a good lawyer, not memorizing facts and data. I do not think any practicing lawyer uses their memory to do their work. They use common sense and the ability to find answers when needed. This antiquated way of determining who shall pass should be given a facelift and a more practical way of determining future lawyer’s ability should be found.
However people like long standing traditions and balk at those who think outside of the box. I don’t mind being different and hope those standing in line today, will not all conform, but some will be those who make things better, whether they pass this test or not.

Trying to get rid of a lot of clutter involves selling things. I think garage sales are a lot of work, and people want everything for next to nothing. I chose to get rid of some of the things I still have around by using Craigslist.

Craigslist has it’s seedy side, but most of my selling experiences have been good. Even my job searching experiences have proven to be fruitful in the past. I like how people will come to you, hand you money and then take the item away. This happened a lot at first, but then all of a sudden people responding to the ads were not being responsible, and some, were downright rude.

I waned to get rid of, what was, the waterbed, but was in pieces and really hard to reassemble. I listed it as free, and had at least 12 people inquire, but one person was insistent that they wanted it, and were coming from Indiana to get it. They were two hours later than they said, which kept me waiting for them to show. Being here when they say they are coming, has made me cut short workouts, leave the library early, and even miss important TV viewing! But I waited, once they got here, with a vehicle too small to take the parts of the bed, (which I had expressed to them was huge!), they said they would take part of it and come back for the rest. I agreed to this and went to the neighbors to ask if they could pull into their driveway to load up. As I came back, I saw their car pulling away, and when I tried to call, they didn’t answer!!! How rude? If they didn’t want the item, they could have just said so. 

Then there are the people who request the dimensions, extra pictures, etc. only to never respond after that. I ask if they are still interested, and even some of them do not reply then. Really, how hard is it to respond? 

I do not want to take away from all of the very nice, responsible people who have shown up, handed me money and taken their items away, without an ounce of trouble. I just wish everyone could be so good. I will be listing more items tomorrow, we’ll see how this weekend goes.

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.  ~World Health Organization, 1948

Portion control is the real reason I do not weigh what I did on my wedding day, (132 lbs). I felt fat that day, because I was always comparing myself to my skinnier friends. I have not weighed that little since then, although I got down to 135 after each pregnancy, until the last baby, and for some reason I have not been able to get within 25 pounds of that weight since. I would blame it on my underactive thyroid, but I know only about 20 pounds is due to that terrible twist of fate. The rest is because I eat a lot. I wish I did not like to eat huge portions, and I wish 2-3 bites of some delectable food would suffice, but for me, more is better.

As a kid, I was the star member of the clean plate food club, and I reveled in pleasing the adults in my life with the huge portions I could consume. It should have been a sign that at 12 years old I could eat the same amount of food a grown man could eat, yet, I was praised for my “healthy appetite”, which only made me seek more of the same.

I know we are a product of our past, but it should never be an excuse, once we learn better. My thyroid condition is not good, in fact, I know it has many side affects which I cannot control, despite taking the medicine prescribed, religiously for the past 26 years. And then there’s my genes, which are not the best. Every female in my family tree is at least 50 pounds overweight, some many, many more.

At my heaviest, I was more than 110 pounds over my wedding day weigh in, and the most unhealthy I have ever been. I managed to shed 60 pounds from that high, unhealthy weight, but I have been at a standstill since then.

I have not been perfect, because every now and then I want some treat, but I have been pretty good about eating a much healthier diet, with more fruits, vegetables, nuts and whole grains. I have practically eliminated all dairy and meat, eating them only on special occasions, and adding juicing when possible. All of this, in addition to 4-5 trips to the gym weekly, with other daily exercise, has still kept me at a standstill, and I know why.

I started following my exercise with the fitbit by BodyMedia earlier in the year, but started to record the food I ate a couple of weeks ago. I put in all of my food and when I checked, even with a mostly vegan diet, I managed to take in as many calories as I was working off! And despite what some people think, it is all a matter of calories in and calories out. Eating 2500 calories is not going to move the scale, even if the calories are made of wholesome foods.

The bottom line is this; I have realized the real problem, and now I need to address it. I can work out, and be in better shape, have more muscles, but until I quit eating such large portions, I will remain overweight. This is hard to face, and even harder to deal with, because I am that person who eats when I am tired, bored, stressed, anxious, etc. I am an emotional eater and I know it. Maybe admitting it and working harder on that will help?

I remember in the series Sex and the City, Miranda attended Overeater’s Anonymous and had to pass a Donut place to attend the meetings, and finally she and the guy she met there, split a donut at that place. I liked how Mike and Molly met at an OA meeting too, so maybe it is a great pickup place? I should look into meetings once I get to St. Charles, because they may help. I am a part of a couple of groups online, and have seen others with this same struggle. Having a support system and accountability seem to help a lot of people.

Writing about this is not easy. It is hard to admit that each day, my food choices take up so much of my mental energy, and are so hard to get a hold of. I am going to continue to record my food, and keep track of my exercise, in hopes of making strides toward my goal. I have set my goal of weighing what an average American woman weighs, by my birthday this year (October). I saw an infograph which told me I needed to lose a few pounds to get there, and it made me decide to make that my goal.

I hope you will join me on this quest for eating more whole foods, in smaller quantities, and exercising to feel better. I will keep you posted on my progress.

Proud Mom moment:

In a recent column of the Chicagoland Radio and Media, Jonathan was mentioned, and in the media world, this means you are somebody! Here’s the column: 

Evergreen Park, IL

I took 3 classes this summer in hopes of getting my Master’s Degree by December. I was not aware of the summer 8 week classes which are really 16 week classes crammed into 8 weeks. I did not anticipate the time it would take to complete the tasks required to maintain my 4.0 (shameless plug) GPA.

My days consist of taking Wrigley for a walk, checking my email, Facebook, etc., working on my schoolwork, studying for the GRE, getting to the gym, then dinner, Wrigley walk #2, TV time (while simultaneously doing GRE flashcards or some other study materials), bed. This is a typical day the past couple of weeks, and says a lot about all the work involved in my classes. One of the classes consisted of only four projects, which were agreed upon, and are due the last day of class, July 28th. In trying to keep up with the daily work of the other two, I let this get put on the back burner, meaning I am now doing all of the other work, and 16 weeks worth of projects, in about 3 weeks!!

I have always been a procrastinator, but I do always get the work done. There is something about a deadline which makes me get things done. Maybe its the adrenaline? I am not sure, but I have always been like this. My favorite memory of this, is from my Community College Days, when a big paper was due, but it had to be typed, with no mistakes. I did not own a typewriter at the time, so I went to the school library to use theirs. Unfortunately the typing class I took in High School was a waste of time, and I made more errors than I had planned. I kept starting over, because the teacher made it clear no white out, no tape, no errors on any pages! I was there for a few hours typing from the handwritten paper I had written out, when I realized I was not going to be done by 7pm when the class started.

I was sweating and, of course, the faster I tried to type, the more errors popped up. I finally conceded that I was not going to make it, and slowed down and carefully finished typing the paper. I pulled out the last page, put it all into the folder and ran to the class. I showed up ten minutes late, but I had the perfect paper in hand, and somehow managed to pull it off.  It was when I sat down, I noticed I had been sweating so much from the stress, my shirt looked like I had been working out in the gym. I am sure I would not have won a prize for my appearance, but I did get a good grade in the class!

That was the one and only time I was late due to my procrastination. In fact, I was proud of the 125 page script I was required to write for a class in my undergrad studies. There were about 15 students in the class, and I was the only one who came to the final class with a finished script!! The others either didn’t show up or had asked for an extension. So, even though this week will be tough, I have finished four of the seven initial projects I started last week needing to complete.

I want them done now to finish out the semester, and to give me some time to get some other things done before I head down to St. Charles. It is a busy time, but I have always preferred to be busy, so I am not complaining!

After starting this blog for my travels, it seems if things go well, I may be in one place for a while, so I have decided to change the direction of the blog. Heck, who am I kidding, the blog was always whatever I wanted to write about! But now it may have a different slant.

I am so happy I got to travel, at a rather young age, around the country, and see and do all the cool things I wrote about. I am so glad I wrote about them and they are chronicled, because I know I don’t remember the details too much. However, now I am a late 40s woman, on my own, returning to school to get my Doctorate. I have limited income, and will be accumulating student loans, if a school will accept me. I am hoping for some type of assistance, a fellowship, etc. and will be chronicling my story about trying to get into a good school and how to financially make it happen. I am hoping to continue losing weight, I have been at a standstill for a few months now, so that will be part of the equation as well.

Because of my procrastination, and ignorance concerning the 3 classes in Education I need for my Master’s Degree, I will be spending the next semester in a Campground right near my school, in St. Charles, so I can complete my last semester, and be able to send final transcripts to the schools with my admissions. Some of the programs require a Masters Degree, but others do not. I will be applying to several schools, once I finish the GRE. If you don;t know about the GRE, I don’t have hours to write how I feel right now about it, but it is required for PhD programs and your score matters for the assistantships and fellowships I so desperately need. Because of this, I will be studying hard and taking the GRE tis fall, (date has been changed due my needing to be in St. Charles, MO, for the semester).

On another note, The ONLY place for me to live while in St. Charles does not allow motorcycles, so I will have to purchase or rent a vehicle for the time I am there. I am not happy about this, because my scooter is so reasonable and definitely a fu way to travel, but it seems like this is the only way to do this…although I keep thinking of other ways.

My immediate time consists of finishing up my Summer double semester of 3 classes! (which I am supposed to be working on projects from as I write!) then I will be taking Sarah to the testing for the Bar at the end of the month (fingers crossed for her, she has been studying so hard) then she starts her new job with the city of Chicago! I will be off to Houston where Jonathan will be relocating for his new job with Yahoo! Sports Radio, doing on air work, full time, with them! My kids are so much cooler than I could have hoped for! Sam is still looking for his next big thing, but he worked for CBS Sports for the John Deere Classic, and is working camera for media com, so I am confident he will land something great. David is plugging away, working hard, and Jody is in the accelerated Nursing program, which keeps them on their toes!!

I am truly blessed, and look forward to the twists and turns as I return to regular blogging, focused on my educational and fitness goals. I hope you will continue to read. even if you only read for my trip before. I am sure I will still have adventures and misadventures along the way. My life is interesting, for sure!

Thank you all.

The best four projects I have ever been a part of:

From the title, you’d think I was in a relationship at the point where one party wishes the other would make the partnership more stable. I know this from watching episodes of Gilmore Girls where Lorelei struggles with such issues. Me, I only struggle with committing to a plan for my future.

I think making a good decision about such things is difficult. I have made such decisions in the past, and I have been fortunate enough to see those decisions through, and those goals reached. So, as I wrote down the goals for my next ten years, I see one last time I am starting from the bottom and building something up. It looks daunting whenever you start a big project, and on days when my allergies are flaring up, it seems overwhelming. Yet, for some reason, I am drawn to this one particular goal, and it seems like one of those goals that I will pursue no matter how difficult it may seem. In fact, if I can pull this off, it may be the icing on the cake for me.

Many days it is easy to look at your life and wish you had taken different roads, but I have had a really great life. I have been fortunate to have been able to do some of the most wonderful things imaginable. I know what it’s like to fall madly in love, to raise babies, to do something I am proud of, to travel the country, to be the first person in my family to get a college degree, and to see my children grow in wonderful adults. These are just a few of all the blessings I count, on the days I wonder what I am to do next. 

Reading Twitter this morning I saw a quote which made me smile. It was from the HS commencement speech Sheri Shepard gave over the weekend. She said, in essence, to do the thing that makes you scared. It seems like the people on the biggest loser always have a breakthrough on the day they face their fears, whether they be heights, or water, or whatever. They talk about facing their fears, and how it frees them once they confront those fears. I often wondered about this, because I have been afraid of heights, and flying, to the point of not being able to fly for many years. But now, I can do so, pretty easily, but back when I was so frightened, I doubt anything would have gotten me on a plane. 

So when I was faced with the scariest thing (next to jumping out of a plane), I was procrastinating making a commitment. I knew deep down that I needed to take the GRE if I wanted to do what I really yearned in my heart for. After several tries at achieving my goal in a roundabout way, I now am faced with the cold, hard facts: take the GRE and pursue a PhD, achieve your goal, or cowardly find a job to pay the bills and call it a life.

Yeah, well anybody who knows me would know I am not going to take the easy way, just to “get by” and not be happy. So after complaining about the GRE and how it is not a good indicator of success in the Doctorate program, I realized they were not changing this system for me, so despite my fear of taking a 4.5 hour test which includes math involving letters and numbers, I know I need to take the test.

I bought some study books, I read a lot about the test, and then on a day I realized I wanted the results more than I was afraid of the possibility of failure (it’s not a pass/fail test, but there is a number I would like to see), I went to the website, picked out the date I thought would be best, and I paid the $185 fee.

Now, it’s real. I will take the test on August 24th, just a few days before my fall term starts. This gives me 10 weeks to study, which is good, according to the books. They suggest 1-3 hours a day for 5-6 days a week. I have 2 books, and the app for my phone for vocabulary. I think I have made a commitment. 

After I found four schools with great doctorate programs, and I found all the information I need, I am ready to attempt this new adventure. On good days I feel confident and look forward to the challenges that lay ahead. I just know I am happiest when I am pursuing a dream, whatever my current passion may be.

Success begins when you take the first step.

 

The library has had very little real use for me for most of my adult life in Chicagoland. If I wanted to read a book, I bought it. If I wanted to read a magazine, I bought a cup of coffee and read it for free like everyone else who put the local Border’s in my old neighborhood out of business. That Border’s, which was built on the corner of the house we owned, was my library. I went there for quiet, to read, and to browse books, music and videos.

I am now sitting in a library, just a mile or so away from the now vacant Borders, spending hours, seeing people go by, looking for videos, books or music, all for their free use. I am not here because I am looking to borrow anything. I am here because I could not keep from viewing videos and did not allow myself enough internet use for the month.

I have a little modem for internet access, but it is not as much as I need. No, that’s not really true; it’s not as much as I’d LIKE! I like to watch videos of news stories and on YouTube, some of it is even actual schoolwork. Either way, it is the 12th of the month and I have to watch it, or I will have NONE left, so I am heading to the library where I can use the internet for free! Yep, not even the price of a coffee. However, because of the price, there are some things you have to put up with such as young kids running around, loud phone talkers and even the constant sound of the printer going off. I forgot you can print things for free at the library too!

So, I put my headphones on, and try to get as much done as I can in the time I am there. I was used to climbing in bed with my computer and researching things at night, or completing an assignment first thing in the morning. For now, unless it’s an emergency, it has to be done on my phone (unlimited internet there!) or wait until I am surfing the waves of the free internet the library supplies.

Nobody asks if I live here, or anything. Anyone is able to come and use the library. When I was in Arizona I went to the Apache Junction library fairly often, and even got a library card, which I never used to take anything out. I looked at books, DVDs and even audio books, but never found something I wanted to take out. I did read the magazines, and enjoyed the quiet, so it was worth the pretty scooter trip there.

The trip here is about 3 minutes, and there is no pretty scenery. The library is not sectioned off well and the kids can be heard all over. But it does give me free internet, and with the free internet I can complete my assignments for class.

I was afraid to go back to school, but I have enjoyed it, so far. I like school, I like learning and I like watching others learn. As part of a recent project I had to make a timeline using multi media elements, so I used my year long trip as the subject, because I had blogs to go with each picture and videos already made for some fo them as well. Plus it was really fun to go back and visit the trip. I reread some of the blogs and remembered things I had forgotten. I am so glad I wrote those now, because they tell the story, and without them, my memories would become a handful of things I have retold often enough to remember. The blog has details and it tells the story the way it happened then, not the way I remember it now. I would never keep a proper journal because I would quit writing, but with people reading, I kept writing, and now I have the entire trip in written form. I wonder if others would like to read about it, if they’d find it interesting?

The timeline was fun, but it brought up a lot of questions. As I sat in the library going through the blogs, remembering the different events, I kept thinking about the wonderful time I had, and how grateful I am for that time in my life. It was a great trip, and it really was “my story”.

The link to the timeline is here. take a look at it, check out the videos or blogs that go with the pictures. Although it only shows the highlights, it gives a nice overview. I wonder if someone would check my story out of the library?

http://www.dipity.com/cubfanloca/My-Yearlong-Journey/

Being a student is not so bad. It gives me definite things I have to get done by a certain time, and I like that. I also like that I tend to be pretty good at most school activities so it would not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me that I wold just as soon keep attending school once I get my Master’s Degree. Looking at jobs, it seems like the way to make money teaching is to have a “terminal degree” in the subject you want to teach.

Communications is the only subject that I am passionate about, so there it is. I have wanted to teach audio editing for years, but have not made a real plan to get it done, so now, I am trying to make that happen. Unfortunately, between me and the program which I would like to be involved with to get me there, stands a test. That is the one thing I do not like about school.

As a kid I tested well, very well. But then my mind was sharp, and I remembered things. Now my mind is not very good at remembering. As I was doing a project for a class, I needed some pictures and looked through the ones on Facebook, where Jonathan and I had traveled to the East Coast, and without the pictures I would not have remembered as much. Without Facebook to post the pictures immediately, I will be honest, I would not have even taken the pictures. I took them and posted them from my phone so friends all over the country could see what we were up to. I did this as I traveled, otherwise, I probably would have taken a dozen pictures, because I am not a taking pictures kind of person.

Now, I wish there had been Facebook as my kids grew up. I know I did not take as many pictures as some Moms, and I know I have forgotten a lot too. If I could go back, I would have taken one picture every day, no matter how dull it may seem, because those are the best memories to have. Now I will remember some boring thing we used to do, and if the kids don’t remember it, it is as if it never really occurred. That makes me sad.

But maybe the boring, dull, things they do not remember somehow did make them into the people they are today. If that is so, then I am grateful, and for as long as I can, I am going to remember those things, because they did happen, and they were part of our lives.

I will need to take the GRE, so I will buy the books and start studying when I am not doing schoolwork for the 3 classes which have been crammed into 8 weeks from their usual 16 weeks. I like being busy, but I hope I can remember what is needed to make this all work out. 

No matter what happens, I am sure it will somehow work out.