Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.  ~World Health Organization, 1948

Portion control is the real reason I do not weigh what I did on my wedding day, (132 lbs). I felt fat that day, because I was always comparing myself to my skinnier friends. I have not weighed that little since then, although I got down to 135 after each pregnancy, until the last baby, and for some reason I have not been able to get within 25 pounds of that weight since. I would blame it on my underactive thyroid, but I know only about 20 pounds is due to that terrible twist of fate. The rest is because I eat a lot. I wish I did not like to eat huge portions, and I wish 2-3 bites of some delectable food would suffice, but for me, more is better.

As a kid, I was the star member of the clean plate food club, and I reveled in pleasing the adults in my life with the huge portions I could consume. It should have been a sign that at 12 years old I could eat the same amount of food a grown man could eat, yet, I was praised for my “healthy appetite”, which only made me seek more of the same.

I know we are a product of our past, but it should never be an excuse, once we learn better. My thyroid condition is not good, in fact, I know it has many side affects which I cannot control, despite taking the medicine prescribed, religiously for the past 26 years. And then there’s my genes, which are not the best. Every female in my family tree is at least 50 pounds overweight, some many, many more.

At my heaviest, I was more than 110 pounds over my wedding day weigh in, and the most unhealthy I have ever been. I managed to shed 60 pounds from that high, unhealthy weight, but I have been at a standstill since then.

I have not been perfect, because every now and then I want some treat, but I have been pretty good about eating a much healthier diet, with more fruits, vegetables, nuts and whole grains. I have practically eliminated all dairy and meat, eating them only on special occasions, and adding juicing when possible. All of this, in addition to 4-5 trips to the gym weekly, with other daily exercise, has still kept me at a standstill, and I know why.

I started following my exercise with the fitbit by BodyMedia earlier in the year, but started to record the food I ate a couple of weeks ago. I put in all of my food and when I checked, even with a mostly vegan diet, I managed to take in as many calories as I was working off! And despite what some people think, it is all a matter of calories in and calories out. Eating 2500 calories is not going to move the scale, even if the calories are made of wholesome foods.

The bottom line is this; I have realized the real problem, and now I need to address it. I can work out, and be in better shape, have more muscles, but until I quit eating such large portions, I will remain overweight. This is hard to face, and even harder to deal with, because I am that person who eats when I am tired, bored, stressed, anxious, etc. I am an emotional eater and I know it. Maybe admitting it and working harder on that will help?

I remember in the series Sex and the City, Miranda attended Overeater’s Anonymous and had to pass a Donut place to attend the meetings, and finally she and the guy she met there, split a donut at that place. I liked how Mike and Molly met at an OA meeting too, so maybe it is a great pickup place? I should look into meetings once I get to St. Charles, because they may help. I am a part of a couple of groups online, and have seen others with this same struggle. Having a support system and accountability seem to help a lot of people.

Writing about this is not easy. It is hard to admit that each day, my food choices take up so much of my mental energy, and are so hard to get a hold of. I am going to continue to record my food, and keep track of my exercise, in hopes of making strides toward my goal. I have set my goal of weighing what an average American woman weighs, by my birthday this year (October). I saw an infograph which told me I needed to lose a few pounds to get there, and it made me decide to make that my goal.

I hope you will join me on this quest for eating more whole foods, in smaller quantities, and exercising to feel better. I will keep you posted on my progress.

The most often "What's for Dinner?" query came from Sam

The restaurant downstairs at the Boeing building has some of the best food at reasonable prices you can find in downtown Chicago. Not only is it made fresh, you get to pick your own ingredients. They make a stir fry with fresh veggies and there is a salad station.  I figured out long ago, that for the prices, I could not get all those fresh ingredients and make lunch myself, so I have been getting a large dose of fresh fruits and veggies during my lunch.

Today I was waiting to place my salad order and the line chef said hi to me. We have exchanged hellos for all the time I have worked there, it’s what we do. So I said to him, “Have you ever thought of trying out for the show Chopped?”  I am not sure if he is a “chef”, but he is a great line cook and makes a mean omelet. He looked back at me and said “What is that?”

“It’s a show on the food network, you’d be great!”, he smiled and said he’d check it out.  Then I wondered, who doesn’t know about Chopped?

When you are counting down the days until you vacate a house, one of the first things you do is start eating the food that you have accumulated.  About 3 weeks ago I quit going to the grocery store. OK that is kind of not true: Anyone who knows me well will tell you I quit going once I could bribe Sarah to go for me, or when I could rationalize the delivery charge from Peapod. I hate the grocery store, so I usually only go when I absolutely have to.  I do what I have to, and that includes the cooking part.  After years of cooking six nights a week, I enjoy not having to worry “what’s for dinner?” Since I grew up working in a restaurant, I feel I have paid my dues and have no desire to cook anything unless I really want to.

So, I cannot really understand my infatuation with the Food network’s show Chopped. I have been watching for several months now and until recently could not relate to anything on the show…but have been glued to the screen with my jaw wide open while they open their basket and try to determine what to make with the odd assortment of ingredients they were given to work with. They rush around and try to make an appealing plate in the allotted time. Maybe I did this on a smaller scale when the kids were young. I remember making grilled cheese and green beans for lunch, not quite chef food, but they liked it.

Looking through my cabinets and fridge, you’d think I had quit shopping many months ago. All that’s left is an odd assortment of food which doesn’t seem to go together. The other day I was hungry so I decided to play the Chopped game myself.  Taking out the roll of sausage, a box of grits, a can of beans and some frozen bread, I narrated a full entrée portion of the show while Wrigley sat there wondering how he got stuck with “the crazy one”. Of course, at the end, when I had assembled a not-so-bad plate of food, Wrigley wanted in on it…but I stuck to my guns; since he did not want to play the part of the judge earlier, then no, he would not get to taste my show winning creation!

Getting down to just a little over a week before I leave, I have worked out most of the problems I might run into: mail, internet, phone, etc. I have decided on wii Netflix for movies and shows I need to watch. But I don’t think I can get Chopped, and now I am getting nervous.  If someone should ever drop a basket on my RV doorstep filled with four unusual ingredients and asks me to make an appetizer in 30 minutes, I want to be ready.  How will I get my Chopped fix in?