From the title, you’d think I was in a relationship at the point where one party wishes the other would make the partnership more stable. I know this from watching episodes of Gilmore Girls where Lorelei struggles with such issues. Me, I only struggle with committing to a plan for my future.

I think making a good decision about such things is difficult. I have made such decisions in the past, and I have been fortunate enough to see those decisions through, and those goals reached. So, as I wrote down the goals for my next ten years, I see one last time I am starting from the bottom and building something up. It looks daunting whenever you start a big project, and on days when my allergies are flaring up, it seems overwhelming. Yet, for some reason, I am drawn to this one particular goal, and it seems like one of those goals that I will pursue no matter how difficult it may seem. In fact, if I can pull this off, it may be the icing on the cake for me.

Many days it is easy to look at your life and wish you had taken different roads, but I have had a really great life. I have been fortunate to have been able to do some of the most wonderful things imaginable. I know what it’s like to fall madly in love, to raise babies, to do something I am proud of, to travel the country, to be the first person in my family to get a college degree, and to see my children grow in wonderful adults. These are just a few of all the blessings I count, on the days I wonder what I am to do next. 

Reading Twitter this morning I saw a quote which made me smile. It was from the HS commencement speech Sheri Shepard gave over the weekend. She said, in essence, to do the thing that makes you scared. It seems like the people on the biggest loser always have a breakthrough on the day they face their fears, whether they be heights, or water, or whatever. They talk about facing their fears, and how it frees them once they confront those fears. I often wondered about this, because I have been afraid of heights, and flying, to the point of not being able to fly for many years. But now, I can do so, pretty easily, but back when I was so frightened, I doubt anything would have gotten me on a plane. 

So when I was faced with the scariest thing (next to jumping out of a plane), I was procrastinating making a commitment. I knew deep down that I needed to take the GRE if I wanted to do what I really yearned in my heart for. After several tries at achieving my goal in a roundabout way, I now am faced with the cold, hard facts: take the GRE and pursue a PhD, achieve your goal, or cowardly find a job to pay the bills and call it a life.

Yeah, well anybody who knows me would know I am not going to take the easy way, just to “get by” and not be happy. So after complaining about the GRE and how it is not a good indicator of success in the Doctorate program, I realized they were not changing this system for me, so despite my fear of taking a 4.5 hour test which includes math involving letters and numbers, I know I need to take the test.

I bought some study books, I read a lot about the test, and then on a day I realized I wanted the results more than I was afraid of the possibility of failure (it’s not a pass/fail test, but there is a number I would like to see), I went to the website, picked out the date I thought would be best, and I paid the $185 fee.

Now, it’s real. I will take the test on August 24th, just a few days before my fall term starts. This gives me 10 weeks to study, which is good, according to the books. They suggest 1-3 hours a day for 5-6 days a week. I have 2 books, and the app for my phone for vocabulary. I think I have made a commitment. 

After I found four schools with great doctorate programs, and I found all the information I need, I am ready to attempt this new adventure. On good days I feel confident and look forward to the challenges that lay ahead. I just know I am happiest when I am pursuing a dream, whatever my current passion may be.

Success begins when you take the first step.

 

Deciding to try for the gold, means actually taking the chance at being rejected. I don’t usually even put myself in those types of situations, but it seems my back is up against the wall.

On my really big list of things I want to do, teaching Communications classes at the University level has been there for many, many years. I tried getting to the goal a different way, but realized, if I really want this one, I am going to have to put my nose to the grindstone and make it happen, while I still have a chance.

All this really comes down to the following. My GPA was high enough to keep from from having to take the GRE to get into my Master’s program, however, Doctorate Programs are not as kind and although they will accept you with a lower score if your GPA is high, they still want you to take it. In order for me to teach Communications I need to have a PhD, and in order to get my Phd I need to be accepted into a reputable program which offers me some kind of living money while I am attending. So, even if I can maintain my 4.0 GPA (which this summer is really going to be hard) I need a great score on this test to get me into a great program, with some type of fellowship. That is not easy, and I don’t like playing against the odds, especially when I am up against young students who still remember half the stuff on this test.

The GRE, for those, (like myself until a short time ago, who have no idea) who are wondering, it’s a test for those going into Higher Education programs, similar to the SATs and ACTs which students took in their younger days. In fact, it is so similar it makes me kind of angry. I was proud of the pretty impressive score I got on the ACT, back a zillion years ago. However, more than ten years, and they won’t even consider it. Now, can I ask why? If you are somehow measuring someone’s intelligence, or ability to learn in your program, are you saying that their intelligence can decline? Or that those tests are not an indicator of learning ability, but rather things which have been stored temporarily in one’s brain?

If you want to know who will succeed in a college class, or program, why not take their GPA only? And if that student went to school 20 years ago, don’t you think their ability to do schoolwork would not have declined so mush that their grades would become irrelevant? I don’t know about you, but I know few students whose study/work habits decline as they age. I do know of students whose schoolwork improved as they aged, but rarely, if ever does a straight A student drop that much. And as for the tests themselves, well, that seems to be the real interesting part of this puzzle. After years and years of testing, the best all those people could come up with is a modified version of the same tests we took as kids every year in grammar school, back in the 1970s? Now I haven’t gotten all of the information yet, but it appears to be the case. I sure hope I learn more real soon, otherwise I may change my major just so I can help someone come up with a better way to determine who will succeed in the advanced degree programs.

I was sitting on an airplane watching a young lady go through a deck of flashcards, over and over she ran through them, testing herself. I thought how cool it was to have them made up for the students, to test whatever she was trying to pass. It was more than a year ago, and before I knew what the GRE was, but I filed it in the back of my head, and when I saw they had them with the books for study, I knew I wanted to get them, since they made perfect sense to me. I was looking at the materials to buy online, when I saw the flashcards and immediately put them in my “basket” to purchase. Then I thought, “well wouldn’t there be an app for that?” and low and behold there were several!! I quickly downloaded the free one which looked like it would be a good one to start with.

Research has told me I have several chances in Chicago to take the GRE, but the rules are you have to take it 30 days after your last testing. Since I will need the results for my enrollment into the programs I am looking at. It all has to be in by January, so I am pretty sure I need to take the GRE at the end of September. This means whenever I am not doing actual work for my classes, I will be studying for the GRE. I am not sure how I will “catch up”on all of the stuff I have forgotten, but I am going to give it my all out effort, and hope my once stellar memory returns, at least long enough to take the needed evaluation, which somehow lets the University know I am “worthy” of their time and space.

Seriously, I find this ridiculous. I know I can succeed n any program, if I want to, but I need for them to know it, and they have decided this test is part of the deal. So, excited to start, I began with the GRE App, playing the flashcard game on my phone and after each word, giving it a color evaluation, so the game knows which words I know and which ones will be repeated. Not only do you have to give the definition of the word, but also identify the word by it’s definition. My memory has been scarred with a couple of concussions, which seem to make it a whole lot harder than when I was a teen remembering words for the ACT test, but even then it seems my mind remembers a general idea of what the word means, but not an exact definition, so I have been playing this game during commercials, at the gym, and even just before bed, in hopes of actually remembering the definitions for this very important test.

Now, the part that irks me the most is this: the words are not everyday words. Well some of them are, b ut the majority are words I have never heard anyone use, like picayune…who uses that word?  And believe me that is not the only useless word in the group. When they use 5 synonyms for the word to help you know it’s meaning, and all of those words are normal everyday words, I can’t help but say, aloud, “So why do I need this word when I have 5 others to use instead?”

Now I am all for learning the meaning of words and using them correctly, but in real life, if some says the word “controvert” and I d not know the meaning, I will take my phone out and look it up on dictionary.com. I do not need to to memorize a bunch of definitions to prove I am worthy of a University program. Does memorizing the words’ meaning translate that you will attend classes, take notes, work hard on projects and learn as much as you can about your subject matter?  I wish I could say I believe it was so, but I am having a hard time. I plan to go out to the bookstore and get a copy of a good study book for the GRE. I am afraid I already know what kinds of questions they will ask, from the information I have read online. I will be forced to perform well on a math section, despite the fact that in all my years of Media experience, never once have I needed algebra to be successful in my work. Nor do I expect Algebra to help me teach Communications classes to others on any level. But they insist I perform certain equations in order to get a good grade. This seems at the very least, ridiculous. How has this become the accepted means for determining a student’s worth?

If I were more cynical I might cite the costs of classes for these tests which guarantee a certain grade, and cost more than $700 to attend. They make it sound like they give you the answers ahead of time, so if you don’t earn a certain score, they refund your money. Maybe they somehow payoff the Universities to require these tests? I am not sure, all I know is there has to be some really good explanation for this. In the meantime I am forced to take a test in various core subjects, in hopes of getting into a program to teach students about public speaking, audio editing and the history of media in America. I am guessing not one question on this test would be actual knowledge needed for that.

That my friend was a rant, or maybe I should refer to it as a tirade, which is one of the words I have known the meaning to for years, but now I must be able to recite the exact meaning of, if I have hopes of passing this test. So, I will be spending my time learning the meanings of useless words and other information I don’t expect to ever use, in an attempt to get accepted into the fellowship I aspire to be in. I hope my sardonic (another one of the words) view of this will not hinder my ability to work hard and succeed. It never has before.

The library has had very little real use for me for most of my adult life in Chicagoland. If I wanted to read a book, I bought it. If I wanted to read a magazine, I bought a cup of coffee and read it for free like everyone else who put the local Border’s in my old neighborhood out of business. That Border’s, which was built on the corner of the house we owned, was my library. I went there for quiet, to read, and to browse books, music and videos.

I am now sitting in a library, just a mile or so away from the now vacant Borders, spending hours, seeing people go by, looking for videos, books or music, all for their free use. I am not here because I am looking to borrow anything. I am here because I could not keep from viewing videos and did not allow myself enough internet use for the month.

I have a little modem for internet access, but it is not as much as I need. No, that’s not really true; it’s not as much as I’d LIKE! I like to watch videos of news stories and on YouTube, some of it is even actual schoolwork. Either way, it is the 12th of the month and I have to watch it, or I will have NONE left, so I am heading to the library where I can use the internet for free! Yep, not even the price of a coffee. However, because of the price, there are some things you have to put up with such as young kids running around, loud phone talkers and even the constant sound of the printer going off. I forgot you can print things for free at the library too!

So, I put my headphones on, and try to get as much done as I can in the time I am there. I was used to climbing in bed with my computer and researching things at night, or completing an assignment first thing in the morning. For now, unless it’s an emergency, it has to be done on my phone (unlimited internet there!) or wait until I am surfing the waves of the free internet the library supplies.

Nobody asks if I live here, or anything. Anyone is able to come and use the library. When I was in Arizona I went to the Apache Junction library fairly often, and even got a library card, which I never used to take anything out. I looked at books, DVDs and even audio books, but never found something I wanted to take out. I did read the magazines, and enjoyed the quiet, so it was worth the pretty scooter trip there.

The trip here is about 3 minutes, and there is no pretty scenery. The library is not sectioned off well and the kids can be heard all over. But it does give me free internet, and with the free internet I can complete my assignments for class.

I was afraid to go back to school, but I have enjoyed it, so far. I like school, I like learning and I like watching others learn. As part of a recent project I had to make a timeline using multi media elements, so I used my year long trip as the subject, because I had blogs to go with each picture and videos already made for some fo them as well. Plus it was really fun to go back and visit the trip. I reread some of the blogs and remembered things I had forgotten. I am so glad I wrote those now, because they tell the story, and without them, my memories would become a handful of things I have retold often enough to remember. The blog has details and it tells the story the way it happened then, not the way I remember it now. I would never keep a proper journal because I would quit writing, but with people reading, I kept writing, and now I have the entire trip in written form. I wonder if others would like to read about it, if they’d find it interesting?

The timeline was fun, but it brought up a lot of questions. As I sat in the library going through the blogs, remembering the different events, I kept thinking about the wonderful time I had, and how grateful I am for that time in my life. It was a great trip, and it really was “my story”.

The link to the timeline is here. take a look at it, check out the videos or blogs that go with the pictures. Although it only shows the highlights, it gives a nice overview. I wonder if someone would check my story out of the library?

http://www.dipity.com/cubfanloca/My-Yearlong-Journey/

Being a student is not so bad. It gives me definite things I have to get done by a certain time, and I like that. I also like that I tend to be pretty good at most school activities so it would not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me that I wold just as soon keep attending school once I get my Master’s Degree. Looking at jobs, it seems like the way to make money teaching is to have a “terminal degree” in the subject you want to teach.

Communications is the only subject that I am passionate about, so there it is. I have wanted to teach audio editing for years, but have not made a real plan to get it done, so now, I am trying to make that happen. Unfortunately, between me and the program which I would like to be involved with to get me there, stands a test. That is the one thing I do not like about school.

As a kid I tested well, very well. But then my mind was sharp, and I remembered things. Now my mind is not very good at remembering. As I was doing a project for a class, I needed some pictures and looked through the ones on Facebook, where Jonathan and I had traveled to the East Coast, and without the pictures I would not have remembered as much. Without Facebook to post the pictures immediately, I will be honest, I would not have even taken the pictures. I took them and posted them from my phone so friends all over the country could see what we were up to. I did this as I traveled, otherwise, I probably would have taken a dozen pictures, because I am not a taking pictures kind of person.

Now, I wish there had been Facebook as my kids grew up. I know I did not take as many pictures as some Moms, and I know I have forgotten a lot too. If I could go back, I would have taken one picture every day, no matter how dull it may seem, because those are the best memories to have. Now I will remember some boring thing we used to do, and if the kids don’t remember it, it is as if it never really occurred. That makes me sad.

But maybe the boring, dull, things they do not remember somehow did make them into the people they are today. If that is so, then I am grateful, and for as long as I can, I am going to remember those things, because they did happen, and they were part of our lives.

I will need to take the GRE, so I will buy the books and start studying when I am not doing schoolwork for the 3 classes which have been crammed into 8 weeks from their usual 16 weeks. I like being busy, but I hope I can remember what is needed to make this all work out. 

No matter what happens, I am sure it will somehow work out.

I doubt many people exist who do not know what Peter Pan is most famous for. In fact, I believe this question would never be a final question on Jeopardy, and therefore is a known piece of information. Peter Pan did not want to grow up, and I think too many people are in a hurry to grow up and do not realize that growing up is really not as much fun as it seems when you are too young to understand what, in fact growing up really is.

As a kid, you worry very little about bills, retirement, people dying, or the safety of the ingredients in your food. However, as an adult, these thoughts and many more, like them, fill my brain, creating stress, which in turn, makes me question my food choices, and exercise regimen, all things I never thought of before I “grew up”.

Not only did I send years worrying about my kids, and what they would do with their lives, (and still do in some ways) but now I worry about how I will eventually split my time between my four young adults’ homes, and what happens when they have kids? I want to be a great grandma, meemaw, grammy or whatever name we choose to use (another thing I have spent way too much time thinking about) and how will I do that with grandkids spread all over the country? These are all things which I do not even need to have an answer for right now, but I find myself thinking about, why? Because I am an adult and I am supposed to have a answer…

A couple nights ago, my 13.5 year old black lab named Snowball passed away. She was a great dog, but she was old, and I knew this was inevitable. However, when she passed away on the floor of my bedroom, I had no plan for how to get her from my bedroom, out of the house. She weighed close to 90 pounds, but I had nobody around to help me. A few calls got the policeman to come out, but he acted like I was interrupting his midnight coffee. Yes, it was midnight, on a Saturday night.

I called my kids, in other cities, more for moral support than actual help, because I really did not know what to do. As Snowball lay peacefully on the floor, as if she was sleeping, I paced and frantically called for help. My son, in Wichita, decided he would call the police and plead with them that his mother needed help. I was skeptical, but agreed to his attempt, since more than 90 minutes had passed, and I was out of ideas.

I was attempting to ask a neighbor who I believe had been out partying, for help when my phone rang. My son had managed to get policemen and an Animal Control Van to come to the house and remove our beloved pet. I was so thankful to the police officers, and though her passing made me sad, it also reminded me of the new truth in my life.

I had raised four wonderful kids, who manage to help me when I need it. I know I don’t need to have all of the answers, and although they all have their own lives, when I really need them, they come through. Having four helps, because the odds are with me, that one of them will be able to help me!

I may never have wanted to grow up, but against all odds, it appears I have, and so have my kids. However being a student again, makes me realize how much I enjoy learning, and in that way, i just may never grow up!

RIP Snowball, you were truly a great lady.

When the phone rang, first thing in the morning, my first thought shot back to the early morning call in March which I answered by saying how much I loved to get calls first thing in the morning because it must be good news. It was the worst news. So, instead I used the usual, groggy hello.

Jonathan had told me he expected to hear from the man in Wichita this morning, so this was probably about the call we had expected. Jonathan was doing news in Havre, Montana, getting ready for a cold winter season, but still very much hoping for a call from a place where sports is the main focus. He would tell me here and there that this job or that was open, and we would put together his info and send it. We were pretty resigned to his living in Havre for a year or more before he might get “the call”.

He joined a bowling team, a trivia team and was starting a local favorite: curling, soon. He bought furniture and was pretty settled in. Then he saw this job was opened and because it was in Wichita, near his brother, and in a top 100 market, Jonathan was excited. The part that was even more intriguing to him was the 2 hour sports talk show every afternoon. Jonathan wanted this the most. Jonathan sent him his information, and after a phone interview, the guy asked for salary requirements, which is usually a good sign. The guy did not call him back after he sent him his salary requirements, which were really low, so we did not know why. In fact after we heard nothing, I told Jonathan, it can’t hurt to contact him. He will know you are interested, so contact him. He did write an email, and for some reason, the guy jumped right on it! His only concern was he needed someone to do news as well. Jonathan has been doing this for months, so he told the guy he’d send that day’s newscast in the evening.

After work, Jonathan called me and we listened back to his news, which is very good, and then formed an email to accompany it. I told him, I knew he would not be eliminated because of his news reports. They are solid, so if that is the only requirement left, he had no worries. But we have been on the brink of a great position before, only to have something fall through, so we have become optimistically reserved.

I took a deep breath as I put the phone to my ear, hopping for the best, “Mom, I’m moving to Wichita!” he said, in the most excited tone. I wanted all of the details but I was so happy I could barely contain myself from yelling to the rooftops! I know I am his mom, but I truly believe all he needs is a break like this. He can’t wait to pack up all of his things and get to Wichita. We discussed the 2 week notice rule and that is what he will do, so he has two weeks to get all of his things moved the 19 hour drive South East. This puts him back in the Midwest, only 3 hours from David, but most importantly, it gives him the radio opportunity he has dreamed of.

As a little guy, he came with me to work the day Dan Patrick was working out of the Chicago Studios. He met Dan and he hung out in the ESPN 1000 studios watching Dan through the glass, do his show. Now he will be on the radio, the same airwaves that his hero Dan Patrick will be airing daily. The station airs Dan’s show earlier in the day. How cool is that?

Jonathan has a lot to do, and it will be hard to move to another strange place and meet new people. It is always hard to start a new job, with new bosses, new equipment to learn, and new protocol, but the excitement in Jonathan’s voice tells me that is all a non-issue. I knew there could be good news calls first thing in the morning, and this one was it. We discussed all the details and then he said “Mom, I know I don’t tell you enough, but  I really appreciate all your help. I wouldn’t be here without you.” Yes you would, but glad I could help you realize your dream.

Good luck Jonathan, I am super proud; you have worked hard and  you deserve it. I know you will be awesome! I love you.

 

I have been so busy, with schoolwork and work at the resort.

I have been introducing many of the staff at the resort with videos on the facebook page, so here is mine!

I thought you might like to see it!

Just click on the link and watch the video!

http://youtu.be/fW7Z-c67uSE

The news here is fascinating to me. Watching Chicago news for my whole life I am used to certain things, and here in the Valley of the Sun, they have different expectations. The latest news is centered around the weather person promising we will get down to the 80s soon. It is with apology she announces another day with a high in the 90s. She seems to not know how some parts of the country are struggling in the 40s and 50s and would welcome the 90s. Today is supposed to be the last day in the 90s, and yet, it is another beautiful day, which I would feel guilty complaining about.

I feel alone often, but not really lonely. I feel a definite difference in the two. I have friends I can talk to, my kids and all the people here at the resort who are more than willing to spend time chatting, mostly when I am in a hurry to get things done. But I feel alone a lot. I go to the gym where I purposely shut the other people out, and try to concentrate on getting fit. I am getting stronger, but not really losing any weight for the past month. I am sure it has to do with my extra evening munching while doing my school projects.

I took the scooter last weekend and went to the closest casino (where I left with a little more than I came with) but gambling is a solo event, where I even go alone when I am with people. I had joined a couple of meet up groups but they didn’t really workout for me, as they had back in Chicago where I met some great gals.

Today is my birthday. This is not the first birthday I have spent away from Chicago, but this one seems different. I am not sure what I want to do, but maybe the fact that my day has been exactly like every other day, can be interpreted to be I am living a pretty great life, or I am uninspired to find something better to do.  Thinking about how I want to spend the day, all I could come up with was the food I wanted to indulge in.

When I was a kid, my grandpa had a birthday and when I wished him happy birthday he answered, “It’s just another day, no reason to make a fuss.” and as a kid, I could’t understand how he could think that. I really liked presents and getting to pick my dinner back then. Now, I just want my kids to call me, and send me a card which makes me feel appreciated. I have received a couple of gifts already, which are very nice and thoughtful, however, the son who called me first thing this morning to ask for my help with an email, and did not wish me a happy birthday, kind of made me laugh. He just wasn’t thinking, and I am OK with that, because he calls me all the time, and always answers my texts and stupid emails I send him, so he gets a pass on this one.

My plans have changed throughout the week, and evolved into taking a scooter ride, having ice cream, and pizza and wings. I am not sure what else I will decide to do, but I am kind of sorry I got all of my work done, so I could do whatever I wanted today, since I don’t know what I want to do. Having nobody to do things with, makes it harder to have fun. I was laying in bed, thinking about my birthday this morning, and I was thinking about my favorite birthday; It was the year I turned 19, because I had wanted to see the play “The Odd Couple” and Chuck gave me tickets for my birthday. I had never been to a live play, and I loved it. We went out to eat afterwards and stayed out til 4am. Later that same date, he asked me, unofficially, to marry him. It was a great birthday.

It is this yearly celebration where most people think about their next 30 years, and vow to make their lives better. I know I need to eat better, be kinder and try to give back, more. I will work on being more positive and forgiving myself for my past, and moving forward, embracing whatever the future holds. I know I will be in a different place the next birthday I celebrate, if I am so lucky to do so, so I should enjoy my next trip around the sun, and be grateful for all the blessings I have.

With all my schoolwork, and the people coming to the resort, which means I will be working more here, I felt the need to make sure I have any projects I wanted to do, underway, or done, before the season really kicks into gear.

I was sick over the weekend, and did almost nothing, so I was glad to feel better and get back to my routine yesterday. It was a little overwhelming, since I have a lot of things which need to get done. It is amazing how just one person can make so many dirty dishes, and two dogs can create so much dust and hair. Good news is, after a couple of hours, the RV looks all clean and shiny again, and I have clean silverware in the drawer. I also filled the bare fridge with some great deals, and worked on videos and school projects.

I did check out the internet and read my emails, so after cleaning the RV, I was intrigued by the article I saw from an email I subscribe to. It was about a woman who has pared her life down in an effort to simplify. She and her husband had a lot of debt, and a lot of stuff. In an effort to simplify, they got their debt down and she has decided to simplify her life by getting rid of her stuff.

Living in an RV, I have already cut my stuff down a lot, but I can still get rid of more, and her blog has shown me I am living the big life with all my stuff in comparison to her simple existence. I have always been fascinated by people who live very simply, mainly those who have no clutter. Now the lady in the blog has limited herself to 100 personal items. She even lists them, and has decided to replace an item if she gets a new item she likes better. Therefore she doesn’t have 25 pairs of shoes anymore, however, she is not including her household “stuff” in this list. This is more about personal clothing and effects. Her blog is http://bemorewithless.com/2012/my-100-thing-challenge/ if you’d like to read about her list.

I thought about this and through my weightloss, I have had to part with a lot of clothing already, but maybe I should consider her ideas, for other things. It is hard for me to get rid of things. I am a hoarder by nature, saving anything with any possible future use, because you don’t get rid of something which you might need someday. Basements were made for this. I have a trailer now, but try hard to monitor what I put into the trailer, knowing I have only so much room.

I was pondering the 100 item list as I took the dogs for a walk, and decided if I could use her idea of grouping items, such as underwear, by counting them as one item, I would try it out. I will go through my items again, and especially my over packed closet and see what I can do to get the “stuff” pared down. I would rather give it away than throw it away, so I will pack a few more bags and see if I can get my closet less crowded and therefore reduce my stress. It almost seems like a challenge which would be too difficult for me to do with clothing. Mainly because I have two drawers full of t-shirts. I enjoy my shirt collection from various events, and until they no longer fit, or I ruin them somehow, I will wear them. So I am going to try to do the challenge, using underwear, socks and t-shirts each as their own collective unit. After that, I am going see how well I can do. I have never thought of myself as a clothes person, but I know I have more than 100 various clothing items. I thought fitting everything in the RV was the challenge, and except for a couple of new smaller sized items, I have not bought too many clothes in the past year. I would say maybe 10 items total.

The person who backpacks across a country, is my real heros. How do they do it? And do they really have no other things, or do they have a room full of stuff at their parent’s house? I have found many items I brought with me, have stayed in their original place, and really have not been useful. But, I am not sure I am ready to get rid of them yet, since I think as soon as I get rid of them, I will wish I had them available. Most people living in RVs have found this to be true. They usually have too many clothes and “things”, and say that it takes a while to determine what is important and useful and what id not.

Limiting myself to 100 items in total, would stress me out, but I do think I can pare down my total number of items, and have less clutter. And I can put the things in the trailer for now and later donate them, if I don’t use them in 6 months. I think we all need to change our thinking, and adapt to what our lives become. I think this is the lesson to learn. Whether you can, or feel the need to live with less, is a personal decision, and one I keep revisiting. I like to go to the library, and read magazines and have some quiet time. One of the magazines I always read is called Simply Living. I am on board with its message and I like the idea of less, I just struggle with the “letting go” part.

 

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” 

–Steve Jobs (who passed one year ago, today)

Yes this is true. As I stayed up very late last night to finish the Powerpoint presentation for my class, I was thinking about the time I have spent working, and going to school. I enjoy what I am doing right now, at the resort. It does not pay as much as a “real job” would, but I like it, so far. It is fun to be the “newscaster” for the resort, and to take pictures and post them.

How much should money play a part in what you do? If you can do something you enjoy, isn’t that worth the difference in pay. I have always believed it was. I can spend less on frivolous things, and have a lot less stress. Maybe in the long run, will I save the money in healthcare, or in care for some disease which sets in due to the stress I was experiencing.

I think getting paid a lot of money is a great advantage, but if given the choice, I’d prefer less money, and enjoying my days and nights. I see people all of the time on Facebook, just counting down the days until Friday. Is that really living your life? If you plod through five days to get to the two, you are not really enjoying your life.

I remember when I was working at US99, I was so thrilled to be working there, I looked forward to going to work. Of all the jobs I have had, I think that one was the one which paid the least, and I loved every minute of it. I learned so much, and I got to do something I wanted to do, so it was more fun than work.

Although even in the best jobs, there are things you may not want to do, or times you may not feel like doing it, but overall if you enjoy your work, what a wonderful life you will have. And how much better of a job will you do? I know I get more into a job I enjoy than one I am in it only for the pay.

Sam and I judging a Lego competition

On TV the other night, on The MIddle, the mom wanted to start her second career, and looked at all the various avenues, and wondered what she REALLY wanted to do. I think that myself, as I work towards another degree in hopes I can teach audio editing, and communications classes at a University, maybe even some online classes. But as I work towards this education degree I start remembering how much I wanted to teach when I was in grade school. The public teachers went on strike, and I was asked to come in and fill in for one of the lower grades. I was in 8th grade and one of the best students in the school.

The kids were acting like you’d expect kids to act when they knew they had a substitute teacher who was only a few years older than they were. The one kid was throwing spitballs at the blackboard so I told him he had to go to the office. He took his stuff and left the room. At lunchtime, I was called into the Principals office and a lady who was a secretary (which was why she was there and not on strike) told me the boy went home and told his mother I yelled at him and sent him home. I was so upset, because that is not what happened. I may have yelled when I sent him to the office, after he was being a jerk, but still, I did not send him home. While she was admonishing me, she said “And whatever you do, don’t ever become a teacher!”

Later she would come and apologize to me, because other students told her what had really happened. But in that time, her words stuck with me, and I always kept away from thinking I should teach. So, I taught Bible School, CCD and sports, I even taught a kids class of bowling at the Community College one semester. This was something I had always wanted to do, and her words hurt me so badly, I never went in that direction again. In fact, whenever I have thought about teaching, I think I need to teach adults, because the problem I had was with kids. But as I do these various teaching projects, I am really drawn to teaching younger kids.

We take our work seriously.

When I had to answer the questions about Sam, the young lady asked if I had wanted Sam to do something particular, and I thought about how I always wanted my kids to do something they love. I remember Sam coming to me and saying he wanted to attend the one college, and I had a hunch it was because of the bowling team and his friend was talking about it, so I asked him what he was going to major in and he said Culinary. I literally laughed out loud. He had a thing about making smoothies, but before that he had no desire to cook anything. I had taught him to make french toast, but he never made anything else, so I thought he was joking. I feel terribly guilty to this day, because now he calls me and sends me pictures of his food, and he really enjoys cooking, so maybe he could have been a great chef if I had not laughed at him. I think he enjoys what he is doing, but I still feel badly. Maybe cooking can be just a hobby for Sam, or one day he may want to be a chef, it’s nice to have that option and be able to think that you should do what makes you happy.

 

 

Sam and I working on videos together.

 

 

So, as I keep learning more about teaching, I keep changing what it is I may want to do. I dont think it is ever too late to change what you want to do, and to do something you truly enjoy. You only get one chance in this world, so you have to make it count.